Many reasons exist to stay with a marriage, and we support couples who work through their problems to find a lasting, happier relationship on the other side. But that isn’t always the outcome of a problematic relationship, and you can’t work through your problems if you’re the only one willing to put in effort. Too often, we see men and women who are sticking with a marriage out of fear.
One of the biggest fears that keeps individuals from opting for divorce, even in the face of a failed marriage, is that the divorce will negatively impact children. We can’t tell you divorce doesn’t have an impact on kids, because it obviously does. What we can tell you is that a bad marriage also has an impact on children, and you have to really consider which is the more negative influence in a child’s life. Often, two happier parents who aren’t living together make for happier children.
Next to fears about kids, money fears often loom largest. After living so many years with a shared coffer, it can be terrifying to start out on your own. In some cases, one person in the relationship might have been the heavy earner, which leaves the other person questioning whether he or she can earn enough for a decent living for him or herself and children. While this is certainly a legitimate concern and warrants careful planning, it’s also why the courts have support processes in place.
If you are avoiding divorce out of fear, consider scheduling a consult with a family law professional. A lawyer can help you understand what your options might be and take some of the unknown and fear out of the process.
Source: Divorced Moms, “15 Realistic Fears That Keep Women from Leaving a Bad Marriage,” Cathy Meyer, accessed Aug. 19, 2016