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What you can control when your spouse asks for a divorce

If your spouse comes to you and says that he or she wants a divorce, there's not a lot you can control about the legal process. You may have no desire to split up, but there's nothing you can do to prevent it from a legal standpoint. No matter what you do, your spouse can ask for a divorce and it can be granted by the court against your wishes.

This doesn't mean you can't try to save your marriage, of course. You can sit down and talk about the good times you've had. You can go to therapy or counseling. You can address the big issues that led you to this point, such as a lack of intimacy or some sort of abuse. You can try to make things work for the kids.

But it's important to know that your spouse does have the legal right to end the marriage, even if you do these things, regardless of what you want.

The biggest thing you can control, then, is simply the way you react. Those who have been through this caution not to react with anger -- even though you may be furious. Doing so is only going to make the situation worse, especially if you begin insulting your spouse or taking other aggressive action, like threatening him or her.

What they suggest, if you don't want to split up, is taking a proactive approach. Take all of that emotional energy and put it into positive action.

However, it is always important to remember that even a perfect reaction to the news isn't guaranteed to save your marriage. Your spouse's rights must be respected. If it looks like the divorce is definitely coming, make sure that you know all about your rights in Omaha, as well.

Source: One Extraordinary Marriage, "How-to Save My Marriage When My Spouse Wants a Divorce," accessed Oct. 21, 2016

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